


Echoes

by andotherfictions



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon?, I'm Sorry, M/M, This is late, Yifan asks a lot of questions, Yixing is bitter, minor chanxing, they're both dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 20:04:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11297874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andotherfictions/pseuds/andotherfictions
Summary: "Yixing, please..." Yifan begs, refusing to believe that this is how their reunion ends. They were supposed to welcome each other back into their arms and revel in the warmth they both missed. They were supposed to proclaim their love for each other once again after not being able to say it in years. There was supposed to be kisses; lots of kisses. They were supposed to pick up where they left off without a care in the world because after so long, they were together again and happy. This is not how it ends; with tears and two broken hearts.Or alternatively, Yifan's reunion with Yixing at the Bazaar Charity Night doesn't turn out the way he imagined.





	Echoes

 

"You look well," Yixing comments when he sees Yifan finally enters the stairwell. "A bit like a wanna-be Drake, but still. You look healthy."

"And you," Yifan scans Yixing's body sitting on the stairs. He looks absolutely stunning, he notes. The younger has obviously lost weight since the last time they have seen each other (Yifan doesn't want to admit that he might have contributed to the loss). But the suit that Yixing is wearing is hugging his body so perfectly and the way his hair was styled completed the entire look; the new and improved, Zhang Yixing. The one who sat in front of him was Yixing after what _was_  Yixing and Yifan: the couple. "You look _good_ ," Yifan manages to voice out, not trying to hint that his mind was screaming to touch his ex-bandmate in ways that he used to before. 

"Thanks," Yixing says while he taps away at his cellphone, "That's what stylists are for."

It had been a long shot when Yifan found out that Yixing was attending the Bazaar Charity Night that year and decided to message the younger through weibo. It was a harmless message. He simply asked if they could meet up in the little time that they had. Yifan was flying out right after the celebration and he was not going to miss out on what may be the only time they would be in the same building. The younger had only replied with an "okay," but truthfully, it was better than being completely ignored. However, Yixing was totally focused on what he was doing with his phone.

Yifan walks closer to Yixing and leans against the metal railing that lines the staircase. And out of curiosity, he peeks over his shoulder and sees that Yixing is messaging a certain band member. He catches the 'I miss you's, the flurry of hearts, and kiss emoticons. Deep down inside of him, Yifan wanted to believe that Yixing didn't mean any of it.

"So, Chanyeol, huh?" 

Yixing didn't notice when Yifan got so close. Every movement echoed in the stairwell. He should've heard the footsteps, but maybe he was just trying to block everything out. At Yifan's comment, he sighed, locked his phone and slid it back into his pocket, making a mental note to text his boyfriend when he got back to his hotel room. "Yeah," he said, trying not to give out too much information to the taller man.

And maybe Yifan should've shut his mouth if he didn't feel like stabbing himself in the heart, but curiosity is a temptress and he caved, "How long?"

"A year and a half," Yixing said with practiced ease. He's lying. He and Chanyeol have only officially been together for close to 6 months. Filming in China by himself for a good part of the year before had gotten pretty lonely when he was constantly surrounded by unfamiliar faces and industry professionals. So when a familiar toothy smile with a pair of big ears shows up at his hotel room one night after filming for his _own_ debut in the Chinese media, ending up in the same bed with his legs wrapped around Chanyeol's waist while the younger thrust into him uncontrollably,  _wasn't_ an unbelievable situation. Yixing always knew Chanyeol had simmering feelings for him but never acted on them because as much as the younger Korean had admired Yifan, he also respected him and this also applied to their relationship. So even when Chanyeol is coming inside of Yixing and the older is moaning a different name, Chanyeol chooses to ignore it. After Yixing had apologized many times for the slip-ups, the taller hushes him with soft kisses and promises that if, no,  _when_ Yixing gets over Yifan, he'll be patiently waiting for him. And Yixing decided that Chanyeol is too much of a sweetheart to keep him waiting for too long (even if Yixing has yet to completely get over the man looming over him now.) 

_A year and a half._ It hurt Yifan. A year and a half ago wasn't too long after he and Yixing had officially split up with Yifan leaving the group entirely. Did he move on so quickly? Did Yixing ever wake up in the middle of the night because he felt like his bed was too cold or too empty, like Yifan had? Or has he ever gotten so excited about good news but the person he wanted to tell most wasn't there? Did Yixing cry because he recalled memories of times they enjoyed together to realize that all they are now _just_ memories? Did Yixing love Yifan the same way Yifan loved Yixing? Did Yixing love him _at all_? 

And maybe it was a newly developed defense mechanism for Yifan to joke around when he felt hurt, but he should've chosen his words more carefully when he manages to respond with a chuckle, "So I guess tall guys with big dicks are your type then?"

Yixing snapped his head towards Yifan and glared at the taller man. Yifan had never felt so small under Yixing's stare, like the younger was ready to throw punches and kicks at his ex-boyfriend. 

Yixing was already tired of the tall man's presence and he felt it would be best if he could leave, but Yifan has called him out to the empty staircase for a reason and he had yet to figure it out. "Why did you call me here, Yifan? Surely it wasn't for you to scrutinize my relationship with my boyfriend."

_Boyfriend_. Yifan had been used to hearing the term come from Yixing's mouth, but when it wasn't used in reference to himself, it felt incomprehensible. 

"I—I just wanted to see how you were doing? I mean, it's been a while since we've seen each other or even spoke," Yifan said, his nervousness was making it hard to look Yixing in the eye, "I thought maybe we could catch up? Like talk about what you've been doing lately and how the rest of the members are doing?"

"You could've just checked out the news. They report on all that stuff. Weibo, Instiz, Naver, our Instagram profiles; it's all there. I don't see why you needed me to come out and personally tell you these things," Yixing said. His voice was condescending, like what Yifan was asking was pointless.

_That's not what I meant!_ Yifan wanted to scream. How is your back? Are you eating well? Since he's your boyfriend now, is Chanyeol treating you well? What about the rest of the members? Are they treating you well, too? How is your mom? Grandma? What music are you working on? Is it stressing you out? Are you taking breaks? Are you getting enough sleep? Do you still take walks in the middle of the night? Do you still visit that small park we always used to go to together? Is our favorite ddokbokki stand still around? Do you miss us? Do you miss...  _me_?

"Oh come to think of it! I saw some things about you in the news recently!" Yixing perked up a little.

Yifan shot a smile at the smaller man, a glimmer of hope that Yixing still pays attention to him. "Oh yeah? What about?"

"About this poor girl who you started fucking around with only for you to drop her," Yixing said with a smirk. 

Yifan's stomach sank and he felt like throwing up.

"So tell me, Wu Yifan, did you whisper sweet, sweet things to her? Did you make promises, Yifan?" Yixing questioned. "So why did you do it? Was she not good enough for you? Not exciting enough? Maybe she just wasn't what you were looking for?"

Yifan could only look at Yixing in shock. "I—it wasn't..."

Yixing clicked his tongue, looked away from Yifan and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Unlocking the screen and typing out messages, Yixing mumbled, "Poor girl. No wonder she went off on you for the Internet to see..."

Fed up with all the jabs, Yifan snatches the phone right out of Yixing's hands. "None of that was true, Yixing! She fabricated the entire thing! I don't even know her! You know me better than that! You know I wouldn't do that!" He yelled trying to defend himself, his boisterous voice echoing throughout the space.

And there was a look in Yixing's eyes that was telling Yifan that he was in the wrong. 

"No," Yixing's voice was soft and quiet, "You wouldn't do that. Because if she was special, you'd keep her. You'd go out on dates. You'd hold her close when it was cold outside. And when she'd get stressed out, you'd calm her down and tell her that everything will be okay. You'd give her confidence when she was feeling incompetent. You'd promise her that she'll be the only one you'd share your secrets with. And you'd make promises of one day living together in her hometown..."

Yifan knew Yixing wasn't talking about that girl anymore. He clenched his fists as guilt washed over him and he wanted to fall to his knees, take Yixing into his arms and soothe all his worries like he was accustomed to doing when he was still in the group. But he knew that if he attempted to embrace him now, Yixing wouldn't appreciate it. Yifan didn't want to push him further away than he already felt.

"If you ever loved her, you wouldn't drop her all of a sudden." Yixing found himself staring at the concrete ground below him, wiping away the tears that found themselves rolling down his cheek and onto his perfectly pressed suit pants. He knew his stylists were going to throw a fit when they see him in this state. Especially when they had warned him over and over again to stay away from his ex-boyfriend.

"Xing..."

At the sound of the taller man's voice, Yixing let out a miserable laugh. "Are your dreams working out for you, Yifan? You're about to release an album, I heard." Yixing looks up and studies the man in front of him. "Just a bit of advice; If you're going to perform in front of an audience, you can't keep your eyes on one person. Didn't you learn this during our training days?" 

Yifan didn't mean to do it; to stare at Yixing and only Yixing while he performed earlier that night. It's just that it's been too long since he'd laid eyes on him and he couldn't help but take all of him in. Even now, with Yixing sitting in front of him, he still couldn't believe it. He took two steps forward until he was standing directly in front of Yixing.

"I miss you, Xing." Yifan barely whispers, but he knows Yixing could hear him when the younger tilts his head up to stare directly into his eyes, uncertainty swirling in them. Yifan reaches a hand to caress Yixing's face, stroking his thumb along his cheeks where the tracks of his tears were still visible. "I miss you so, so, so much."

Yixing's breath hitches when he feels the contact on his skin. Suddenly he's reminded of gentle touches in between photo shoots, heated kisses in the middle of the night, knee-slapping laughter, and soft proclamations of love said between warm blankets with bodies comfortably pressed against each other. He didn't want to admit it, but he desperately missed Yifan, too. But he couldn't ignore the utter heartbreak the taller has caused him. Sleepless nights, bouts of anger, and endless streams of tears were no strangers to Yixing. 

"Don't... don't say that. You have no right to say that." Yixing says, staring straight into Yifan's eyes as if he was pleading for silence, fearing that whatever words come out of the taller's mouth will break his resolve to finally move on. "What were you really hoping to get from this meeting?"

"To be together again," Yifan answered without delay. He scrambled to his knees, took Yixing's hands in his and littered them with kisses, "I want us to try again. We can go back to how we were before."

"It's been a long time, but fans still hate you, y'know? And your fans," Yixing scoffs, "they hate _me_."

"Who cares what they think! The only person who matters to me is you. I don't care what anyone says, Xing." Yifan takes a deep breath and says the words that he has repeated over and over again, to the same person he has always said it to, hoping that same person would say them back, "I love you. I still do."

Yixing's breath hitches when he hears those words and as much as he wants to say them back, he can't. He looks away and pulls his hands away from the taller man's grasp. "You don't understand, Yifan." Yixing starts, "Things are different now. When you left and you promised me that everything was going to be okay, the reality was that everything was going to get worse. You weren't there when I had to stand in front of our members, our staff, our company, and _lie_. I had to tell them that I had no idea that you were going to leave. You didn't face their wrath."

"I'm so sorry, Xing." Yifan could only apologize. When he had left, he had no idea that the company would single out Yixing. The company knew they were close, but maybe they didn't hide their true relationship well enough and the staff probably caught wind of it. He blames himself. There were eyes on them constantly on them and the couple may have gotten careless at times. _It's skinship for the fans_ , they would often say as they lovingly held hands on stage; even going as far and nearly kissing when they hung around the back of the idol-packed stages at the end of music shows. At the time, those moments were thrilling to them; to have something that was forbidden. Little did they ever think about the consequences.

"You say that you want to go back to how things were. Do you even know what you're asking of me?" Yixing shifts his weight forward and lifts himself on his feet, taking a few steps past Yifan. "A long distance relationship with no certain time of ever meeting up? And even if we try to, it'll be behind the backs of our staff, the media, and the public? Sure, we can call and text each other when we can, but eventually we'll both be too busy with our schedules and at one point, we'll just stop contacting each other altogether." Yixing paces around the small platform of the staircase as he talks and watches as Yifan also stands to face him, "We'll end up hurting each other... and I don't want that, Yifan."

"Then what do you want, Yixing?!" Yifan almost snarls.

"I just want a relationship that works!" Yixing snaps back, in tears. "A relationship that's not shrouded in secrecy and lies! I don't want to have to worry about the career I've worked so damn hard for get destroyed because of who I'm fucking! I want someone to talk to when I'm drowning in stress and would run to my side when I'm just about ready to give up and encourage me to keep going forward in this shitty ass industry. I want someone to dote on when I feel like it because they give so much to me. I just want that connection again. I want someone to _be_ there. I know I'm being selfish, but I want someone whom I can give the world to and in return, they'd give me the moon..."  

Yifan listens intently, his fists clench at his sides, before he calmly responds, "And is _Chanyeol_ the one to give all of that to you?"

Yixing looks up in surprise, "I–I don't know... But we're going to try."

As if in defeat, Yifan staggers to sit on the nearby steps and lets out a loud sigh as his head hangs low. 

For a moment, neither of them speak in fear of triggering anymore hostile feelings towards the other. It's miserable how things ended up this way, Yifan thinks. Since the first time they met when they were younger, Yifan was sure that he'd always have Yixing in his life. He'd always thought it would be easy to keep Yixing; They started as strangers, shortly became friends, and naturally called each other lovers, yet here they were, in the same corner of a random staircase and he can feel Yixing slipping right through his fingers. 

Yifan jolts when he suddenly feels Yixing's hands on his, surprised that the younger initiates the contact. His head is being lifted by those same hands until he's merely inches away from the younger's face. 

"What do I have to say, Yifan?" Yixing asked, staring deeply into Yifan's eyes and holding his hands softly. "What do I have to say for you to believe that I'm over you?"

Yifan stared into Yixing's eyes just as deeply. Trying to find something in his eyes that will tell him that there's a chance that Yixing will come back to him. "To say that you're not."

Yixing sighed, never taking his eyes off of Yifan's face. "I'm sorry, Fan. I can't say that," Yixing whispered and Yifan knew, from being with Yixing so long and memorizing every emotion that came from the younger's eyes, that he was lying.

"I'll leave first," Yixing says, gently sliding his fingers off of Yifan's hands, taking his nearly forgotten cell phone back into his hands. 

"Yixing, please..." Yifan begs, refusing to believe that this is how their reunion ends. They were supposed to welcome each other back into their arms and revel in the warmth they both missed. They were supposed to proclaim their love for each other once again after not being able to say it in years. There was supposed to be kisses; lots of kisses. They were supposed to pick up where they left off without a care in the world because after so long, they were together again and _happy_. This is not how it ends; with tears and two broken hearts.

Yixing refuses to look at how desolate Yifan is. He doesn't want to admit that the love of his life is in this state because of him. "I'll see you next time, Yifan." Maybe at another time when Yixing can admit that he still loves Yifan. A time when he won't care about what the media says, about what the other members say, about what the company says, what _anyone_ says. A time when they _both_ can love each other without worry, without consequence. A time that Yixing wishes would come soon.

Yifan watches Yixing's back as he slips through the door and the click resounds through out the space. And just like that, Yixing was gone. All that was left was a broken heart, tears, and only thing left of Yixing in Yifan's life were echoes.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please go easy on me, it's my first fic here ;; AND I'M SO SORRY THAT I DID THIS TO THEM. I LOVE FANXING SO MUCH. I'M SO SORRY.


End file.
